I Am Israel. I Am Gomer.

How can I tell my story and draw it in to the Bible's story? What is my testimony, this journey that Jesus has been with me through from the beginning, though I didn't realize it?

This is my story. This is where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going.

 

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Where I've been

I was always running from God. Gomer’s and the nation of Israel’s story was mine. Hosea 1:2 Go, marry a promiscuous woman.., for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord.”

Hosea 2:14-15  “Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
    and bring her into the wilderness,
    and speak tenderly to her.
 And there I will give her vineyards
    and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth,
    as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.

Even though He had chosen me and was faithful to me, I ran from God and looked for happiness and love in relationships with guys. This became my desert as I was slowly distracted from the Spring of Living Water and parched by the heat of first, the fake fulfillment and then by the trial of each relationship ending. The valleys were  a hopeful place because at the end of each, my vision would be cleared to see true Beauty again. But I felt I could never quite reach full satisfaction in Him alone. I called out to the Lord asking Him to be the center of my joy and praying that it could be “just Him and me again.” He would send another test, and I would leave my God who chose me for “broken cisterns”.

I walked through one of the darkest valleys when I was 18 after I was rejected by the guy I had hoped to marry and his whole family for a reason still unknown to me. I almost turned to death for escape from the pain. The thick darkness lasted over a year, and in this time, my lifelines were two friends (one of which was James) who pointed me to Him, and Isaiah 40. Eventually however, when enough time had passed, I forgot the pit that God had brought me out of.

I believe the next valley was the worst and the best thing that the Lord has ever walked with me through. Through a dear friend's acknowledgment, realization, and fight with a sin that was sucking life away, my Comforter spoke tenderly to me and drew me to Himself as my only refuge and Salvation.

 

Where I am

 

Now, my story is Exodus 19:4 You yourselves have seen what I did to Egypt, and how I carried you on eagles' wings and brought you to myself. and

 

Psalm 94:17-19 If the Lord had not been my help,
    my soul would soon have lived in the land of silence.
When I thought, “My foot slips,”
    your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.
When the cares of my heart are many,
    your consolations cheer my soul.

His faithfulness and grace, despite my own sins and failings that He has shown me and graciously continues to show me are my Treasure. He is becoming more beautiful to me as I walk with my mom, James, Naomi, and others on this journey of knowing Him better!

 

Where I'm going

 

Time and time again, He reminds me that my is He know the plans He has for you, and they are plans to prosper and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future. He promises that when I  call upon Him and come and pray to Him, He will hear me and that I will seek Him and find Him, when I seek Him with all my heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13 My future is growth in sanctification and knowing Him.

Hosea 2:16-17,19-23 And in that day, declares the Lord, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’ For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. ..And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord… And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, ‘You are my people’; and he shall say, ‘You are my God.’”

 

My future is held in His solid promises. And I know He will use the story He has written for me to glorify His name as I tell it here and take it wherever He will lead me in future. I pray that He will send me to the unreached and use me to tell those who are not His people now but were chosen before the creation of the world how beautiful it is to be His and have Him as Mine!