Fast-Forward

Sometimes I wish there was a "Pause" button -- something I could push to postpone life so I could gather my thoughts.

Sometimes it seems like life goes altogether too fast. Each time I blink something new happens. Changes are everywhere, not only on the horizon as they used to be.

I guess the truth of the matter is there is a pause button, and I pushed it a long time ago... I was so scared of the changes, the decisions that I would have to make in the future that I simply put off thinking about them. This allowed me to enjoy life at it was in the moment, thinking of nothing else but the day to day aspects. I guess I knew that sooner or later life would play on its own once again, whether I pressed "Play" or not. My only surprise is that it happened sooner rather than later. And now I am left, without the luxury of another "Pause" button at my disposal, to undergo the changes and decisions I should have made long ago that are now happening in fast-forward. 

But I guess it's about time I face them. I can put them off no longer. I just pray God will help me in the fast-forward and forgive me for thinking I did not need his help in the slow-mo.

When my life was on pause I had all the time in the world to enjoy the here and now. And I did, to the best of my ability then. But hindsight is always 20/20, and now I see how I could have enjoyed it better.