Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Mere Words and Promises...

...things everyone wishes to hear or longs to say and give. How often are they true or kept? Rarely. Which is what makes those that are so special.


You are the warmth in my heart
One reason it is beating
The light in your eyes
When you laugh fills my being

     I ask to see you smile
     Because to me it is the sun
     But I will hold you when tears cloud your sky
     And when the rain will come

I do not solely want you 
When everything is fine
In all the steps of this journey
My love yours and yours is mine

Our steps will be like footprints
In the sands of time
Going on and on forever
And always side by side

They may fade when waves pass over
But their memory remains
Under trials love grows stronger
And always stays the same

     I ask to see your smile
     Because to me it is the sun
     But I will hold you when tears cloud your sky
     And when the rain comes
     I want to see you happy
     But when your smile dies away
     I'll hold you in my arms and
     We'll cry the pain away

     This life has many burdens
     Heartaches, cares and  plights
     But know that love is holding you
     Even when no end's in sight

   
   
   





Thursday, October 23, 2014

Silhouette of Evil

I was driving down my street, and there was a gray mustang driving in front of me. All of a sudden, it stopped and someone popped out of the sun roof right at the junction of our road and another that comes up a hill. He pulled out a gun as the car was still driving and shot straight down the road until the car had passed it. He must have felt me watching him because he turned around and gave me a death glare and then quickly got back in his car which immediately spun around so fast the tires squealed. The car raced past me and overshot me. By this point I was almost at my house. My driving could not have felt slower. The gray mustang spun around again and started following me. Thankfully, he had lost a lot of time going so fast and overshooting me, so I got to my house before he did.

I parked the car as fast as I could, crooked in the driveway, and ran to the front door, fumbling at my keys to get in. When I did get in, I quickly ran to my room and peeked out one of the blinds to see the car on the grass in front of my house. The car was empty. Then I heard someone at the front door trying to open it.

I ran as fast as I could to it and realized with horror I had forgotten to lock it. For some reason the man, whose face I had never quite seen when we had been on the road but which I knew was the definition of pure evil, did not knock the door down or try to come in. When he heard me on the other side of the door he whispered in a tauntingly evil voice that was dripping with malicious intentions, "Why don't you lock it?"

My hands trembled so much I could barely turn the lock. I had been frozen seconds before and had not been able to lock it until fear gripped at my heart when he said those words. I locked it.

From there it gets a little blury, but I remember going into my dad's room to look for him. For some reason, no one had been paying attention to what had been going on. Maybe they were all in their own little worlds... But my dad was in his room looking like he was about to go somewhere. I told him what was happening and he asked me some questions in a really chill way like everything that was happening was normal. He said it in a really loud voice though, which scared me because I thought for sure the man outside would hear him and come crashing through the window and take me away or shoot us both... I asked my dad to lower his voice, but he just asked me why in the same loud voice.

Well my dad wouldn't listen to me, so I told him that I was going to call the police to come and get the man outside because I was so scared and I knew he only had evil up his sleeve. My dad nonchalantly said, "Go ahead," as I was dialing 911.

I had it on speaker and somewhere in the middle of the conversation with my dad, I heard a woman's voice on the other end saying, "Hello?...Hello? Please make your presence known so that we know you are okay." I brought the phone to my ear and turned away from my dad and went into the bathroom. I locked the door just in case the man got in the house. It was silly because he could have easily broken down the door, but it made me feel a little safer. I don't know where my dad went at that point, but I knew somehow if he was nearby he wouldn't believe me. I was on my own.

I told the woman what had happened and who was after me and that my dad wouldn't believe me but I knew the man was going to kill me or worse... She told me that everything would be fine and turned away from the phone to tell a police chief what was happening and that he needed to get to my house right away. Then she told me to be clam and stay where I was until the police got there. I thanked her and told her I would be waiting for them to come and then hung up.

Moments later, the light from the bathroom window was partially blocked and the whole room got darker. Trembling, I crept from my corner next to the shower and against the door and peeked around the wall to see what was blocking the light. A shadow of a hooded figure stood up against the wavy glass. Then I realized with horror that he had his hands cupped against the glass so that he could see in. I knew he had seen me.



I was so terrified that i pushed myself back into the corner where I had been and snatched the phone up from the counter. I dialed 911 and took the phone off speaker, pressing it to my ear. I knew the police were coming, but it felt as if they were taking their time and I had a feeling the figure would pull out a knife and carve a whole in the window big enough to punch his fist through and then break the rest while I stood there paralyzed, watching him. I needed to hear a reassuring voice that would calm the pounding of my heart.

The woman's voice at the other end of the line said, "This is 911. Please state your emergency." I said in a frantic whisper, "There's a man at the window he's looking in and I'm sure he saw me! The police haven't gotten here ye--" Before i could finish, she called to someone and said, "This is that same girl again. Why are you not there?? You should be there. She is in danger!" Then she turned back to the phone and said, "Honey, tell me what is happening."

I looked back at the window and saw the man's silhouette still outlined on the glass, peering in menacingly, tauntingly like he knew I was there and wanted to prolong the terror. His shadow moved around, peering into each side of the window, high and low, left and right, slowly...

My breath couahg in my throat and I whispered frantically, "He's still here. He's going to kill me, he's going to kill me..." My hear was pounding so loud I was sure the hooded figure on the other side of the glass could feel its vibrations through the wall.

I couldn't help myself from sobbing. "He's going to kill me..." My choked voice trailed away. "Listen, honey," the woman said gently. "The police will be there any minute. You just gotta hold on a little longer, alright?" Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I thought I heard sirens on the other end of the line. I said, "Okay..." voice trembling.

I kept the phone pressed to my ear and let myself slide down the wall. My knees were so week with fear. I could not remember a time in my life when I was so scared....

Then I woke up.





Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Closer Than My Heart

This morning, when I was reading my Bible I started to write out a prayer after I read a few verses of Psalm 119, and this is what came out.


Oh God, you are my God
In the morning I rise and recount your faithfulness to generations before me
according to your word
In the evening I lie awake and think of all you've done
You are so good and no one deserves you
What other house but Jacob's can say of their God
he is good?

Ever before me and ever with me
your righteousness stands
I have seen your holiness all my life
yet nothing is going to change
O Lord, you remain the same
As the sun rises in the east
as the morning dawns
as its brilliance sets in the west
making its way across the sky
As faithful as the mountains
as forever as the sea
your love is ever with me
Your presence is closer than my heart

O Lord, you are my hiding place
I have claimed you as my shield
when earth shakes below me
when the ground is pulled from beneath my feet
When the depths overwhelm me 
and my troubles seem to drown me
my God, you are my solid ground
My hope is in you
my trust is in your unfailing love
For it is ever with me
Your presence is closer than my heart
Till the end of this age and forevermore
you are my God.



Friday, October 10, 2014

Hold Me

I'm falling apart
Will you hold my heart
In your hand?
Confused about love
I just want to give up
Will you help me understand?
Chasing so many things
Hoping they would lift
The burden from this soul
Wanting to be loved
Never being enough
You were the One that made me whole...

You are my Love
You will be enough
Even if I remain alone
Help me to want you
Above all I was close to
Above all I've ever known

Nothing can do me harm
I don't have to be strong
Because I know that you are
Oh Love of my heart
I am falling apart
Please hold me in your arms
You are my Love
You will be enough
Even if I remain alone
Tell me you will never
Lose me and hold me forever
And tell me I am home








Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Hope is a Liar

So young
So innocent
You love
Without regret
But you don't know love is a fire...

You love
Without return
And give all
You have again
Not knowing that hope is a liar

                 And someday you'll see
                 That it was me
                 You hopefully gave your heart to
                 And you loved me
                 But you were a child then
                 And now you know...

Open 
To anything
As long as
You were with me
Dreams are real 'til you awake

You wished
That you could be
As strong as
You thought I'd need
But I knew that I'd see you break

                I knew some day you'd see
                That it was me
                You hopefully gave your heart to
                And you loved me
                But we were children then
                And I loved you
                We were such good friends
                But now you know...

                         Hope is a liar
                         And love is a fire
                         And you got burned

                         And I'm sorry....

So listen 
To what I say 
While you have
The time to change
And fall right out of love with me

You fell 
So easily
So get up
Scrape off your knees
Listen to me it's not worth it

                 Trust me, someday you'll see
                 That it was me
                 You hopefully gave your heart to
                 And you love me
                 But you're only a child
                 You're innocent
                 But I've been through the fire
                 Listen to me
                 Hope is a liar
                 
                 And I'm sorry