Listen to me, you who purseue righteousness, you who seek the LORD:
look to the rock from which you were hewn,
and to the quarry from which you were dug.
Look to Abraham your father and to Sarah who bore you;
for he was but one when I called him, that I might bless him and multiply him.
For the LORD comforts Zion; he comforts all her waste places
and makes her wilderness like Eden,
her desert like the garden of the LORD;
joy and gladness will be found in her,
thanksgiving and the voice of song.
Isaiah 51:1-3
This week, my Father comforted me with much truth. I feel at times like the place I'm in is a desert of surrender, but He is making my desert a garden. Where there is no joy and the ground is dry, I can hear the sound of rain in the distance. I know that He is coming like rain, and that He is restoring to me the joy of His salvation. Every morning, I ask, "Father, please give me joy today." But I know that even if He doesn't give me the feeling of joy, He is giving me more of Himself, which despite my feelings, I know is better by far. He is the strength of my heart. If it is the Lord Jesus who leads me, what do I fear?
This week, I was asking God to provide people to stand with me in my fight for joy. And He graciously has! He has brought me to my knees in this fight, and that is the best place to be -- where I see my need for Him so clearly! But oh, it's painful!
"Turn to me and be gracious with me as is your way with those who love your name. Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me."
Psalm 119:33
On Wednesday, I was really struggling with fear in surrender. I wrote out everything I was afraid of that day. It added up to a full page in my journal... I laid it out before God. Then I read the next section of Galatians for the day.
And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, 'Abba! Father!' So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods. But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and worthless elementary principles of the world, whose slaves you want to be once more?"
Galatians 4:6-9
For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.... You were running well, Who hindered you from obeying the truth?...For you were called to freedom, brothers... through love serve one another. Galatians 5:1,7,13
My Father was slowly pulling away at layers of fear and showing me the freedom I already had from them. In showing me this freedom, He was getting to the root of my hesitation to surrender. "Do you love me enough to let even these pebbles go?"
Maybe I have built up this cage of fear and locked myself in it because I am not being still long enough to let truth really sink in deep. I tend to be rushed in my Father's presence, letting anxiety over the next class I am going to rule me. Oh Father, I want to CLING to the freedom You have purchased for me! FIX my eyes on the hope You have called me to!
Often times, when I am struggling with something, God will point me to a song that puts words to my situation and sheds light on darkness. This time the song that came to mind was "I won't Let You Go" by Switchfoot. He had ministered to me through that song last year, but the line that stood out this time was different: "Pain gives birth to the promise ahead." I realized that the pain of letting go, the pain of surrender, hurt so much because a new hope was being born. I was beginning to see the hope to which I have been called. (Ephesians 1:18)
Now my prayer was, "Father, as I let go of these pebbles and choose not to live like a slave, don't let me go! Let the sound of love, who I am in You be louder than the fear that I feel from the world! Give my heart courage, for I am weak! Yet I am willing to be weak if it means Your power will rest on me."
Dear Reader, Truth will release you from your cage! When you are afraid, write out your fears. Lay them before God. He cares about them more than you can know. Then ask him to bring you to truth in His Word that does battle with your fears. I have confidence that He will! You have heard that "The truth will set you free," but have you seen that happen in your own life? It can! Our God is bigger than our fears. Swim in the ocean of His love with me! Even when we are fearful, we can be courageous; He holds us in His hands.
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