Why Are You Downcast?

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in GOD, for I will yet praise him. My Savior and my God.

Father, I must speak these anxieties because I have them. I must not hide them from you. You know me better than anyone, and you know that I need you. You know my heart and what I feel. You know why I feel. You know my inward parts right now. Father, I beg you, take these feelings away.

What am I to do? Father, I beg you, PLEASE. Come to my aid. I don't want to cry in front of these friends. I don't want to be that vulnerable. I feel already the temptation to compare myself with Julia and other girls that are "prettier" and I think that are more attractive in the eyes of men. I want to be attractive in the eyes of men, but I don't want to be taken advantage of. I want to be loved, truly loved for who I am and not for what I appear. Father, would you show me that i am truly loved by You? Would you show me my value. I think I need to cry.... I think I need to let it all out. But I can't. I'm with two brothers. I can't show my vulnerability here... Father, grant me wisdom. By my comfort and source of joyful strength. I need you so badly.