Last year, with all the assignments that kept me busy at Bethlehem College & Seminary in Minnesota, I did not have enough outlets to process the things I was learning in school and God was teaching me outside the classroom. There was so much coming IN to my brain and so many things happening inter-personally that I forgot the importance of letting some of that stuff OUT. Art and writing and verbally processing with another human being are ways that I process things, but with no art supplies, no means of getting them and a combination of not realizing my need for writing and verbally processing with someone and lack of time, I did not make use of these means of grace hardly at all.... And I went CRAZY.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If I want this year to be different I need to make a change now, and a change that I can track. This year, I am asking for God's sustaining grace to help me write a blog post once a week on Wednesdays -- we'll start small -- about something that I have observed that week, something that He is teaching me, something that encouraged me to keep going, newfound hope for the future, anything. I just keep thinking of the verse in Hebrews that says, "Make sure to encourage one another as long as it is called today so that you will not be hardened by sin's deceitfulness" (Hebrews 13:3, emphasis added). I definitely was hardened by sin's deceitfulness last year because I was not seeking out enough ways to not only find community, but to encourage myself by recounting God's faithfulness and tracking His work in my life. I don't want to do that again. Jesus, help!
This blog used to be called "Secrets of the Journey", aptly named because of my desire to share the lessons God was teaching me that were only visible from my point of view because they were specifically designed for me. My desire was that by sharing those lessons others would be encouraged too. I still want to do that. Later, I named it "Walking in the Grip of Grace" after I realized that my whole journey in which I had been learning lessons from the hand of God was taken while in His hands, or in the "grip of Grace" Himself. My emphasis was on Grace because He showed me who He was in a way I had never seen before, and I want to keep sharing those things He shows me in my blog posts. Even if I only have 5 minutes on a Wednesday (I know it's not Wednesday, but yesterday was and Thursdays can be makeup days if necessary ;) ) I want to write with the intention of processing the past week through the lens of Grace.
Father, you say that "In his heart a man plans his course but the LORD directs his steps" (Proverbs 16:9). I am trying to plan a course that is pleasing to you, but I need your blessing. Please give me the strength and motivation to write each week and allow it to not only encourage my soul but also the souls of anyone who reads. Though I am resolving to see grace, the resolution is futile unless I have Your grace to see it. Natural eyes have no eyes for grace. Would you gift me with grace to see Grace? Oh, open my eyes to Your beauty, and please teach this heart to see beyond this world and be thankful! In the name of Him who loves my soul. Amen.
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